Category Archives: Three A.M. Thursdays

Three A.M. Thursdays #3

In which Elwood shares his late-night musings:

When someone told Lot a crazy story, did he take it with a grain of wife?

Does Nexium cause people to move in and out of the Matrix at random intervals?

Do elephants ever suffer from trunk envy?

Do tigers ever wonder how their eyes could possibly relate to boxing a wrestler?

Why do ghosts haunt old houses? Why not find one with a pool and a big TV?

Miss Muffet’s Revenge:

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet

Drinking her lemonade

Then when the spider

Set down beside her

It got hit with a full can of Raid

And now that it’s dead

Let it never be said

That Miss Muffet was ever afraid

Ever feel like parts of Genesis Chapter 1 have been redacted? (Missing text in italics):

8And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

Then God created the thousand-cubit Sky Jellyfish, but it just didn’t look right,

    And kind of gave him the willies, so

9God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.

And God called the dry land Saskatchewan, and the waters Lake Xochimilco

But they were really hard to spell, so

 10God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters he called the Seas: and then it was good.